"Ecstatically Yours"

It’s been a long time since I wrote anything sensible here in my blog. The cold, the stress or perhaps the ‘jumbled-up-thoughts-failing-to-fall-into-place’ situation has got my skull jammed somewhere at some part. So there’s an urgent need to de-clutter or I better put it this way : urgent need to write something. The following piece was intended to be kinda romantic. But I can't help if it turns out to be too childish. Please feel free to comment if it does. Well, there's always a chance for improvement, na. ;)

Oh! Be practical, brat. He spoke to himself. Taking a giant leap from the bed to the couch, he could not hold himself back from feeling ‘lazy-cum-dumb’. All he wanted to do was lay flat on the bed and stare at the vast emptiness and revise that scene again in his mind. Feeling like an idiot is easy he thought, being one is easier. Why was he turning out to be an emotional fool, of late? Or is ‘romantic’ the appropriate word. ‘Nah’ he brushed aside the word from his train of thoughts and held the pillow tighter and made a concerted attempt to rest his ‘brimming-with-sparks’ eyes for a few minutes at least.

She was busy-copying the last lines of the class notes that she had missed the previous day. Actually, her hands were. Her mind was way deflected from the realms of redox reactions and their balancing. As she scribbled a few wrong words, slapped her forehead for making a silly mistake even while copying stuff; she realized it was no good making a vain attempt to sit back on the table. A leap of the heart every now and then, the feeling of sinking into a bed of molten lava of emotions-not burning hot, but exuding a comforting warmth.

If only they knew that they had been ruling each other’s thoughts for the past few days. Boarding school churns out the life out of its students at times. Being sophomores and having a crush is no big deal. Well, these days, even toddlers of class one boast of having a boyfriend or girlfriend. Funny! But cute. If only they knew what’s it all about.

...........Had it been any of his friends, he would have typed one random paragraph embellished with a word or two speaking of ‘how much he loved her’ and ‘how much he missed her’ without really weighing the pounds those words carried. And the lines would’ve come out as romantically poetic when flashed as an update in facebook. So easy.

But he did write something for her:

"When I saw you for the first time,

Deep inside there’s a rush

‘cause the possibility

That you would ever feel the same way

It’s too much

Just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?

All I ever think about is you

You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized

And I’ve just got to know

Do you ever think

When you’re all alone

All that we could be?

Where this thing could go?

Am I crazy or falling in love??

Do you catch a breath when I look at you

Are you holding back like the way I do?

‘Cause I’m trying, trying to walk away

But I know this crush ain’t going away..."

[P.S: These lines are copied from a song, although I played with a few words here and there. The first time I went through its lyrics, I loved it straight away. So,an attempt to imbibe it in a blog post. ] 

She responded:

"This crush ain’t going away ‘cause this crush gonna stay forever. You don’t seem crazy when you look at me. Why does it make me feel as if you are as much in love with me as I am with you…

Ecstatically yours………"

The irony: the means of communication failed !

The boy wrote those lines on the wall of the boy’s toilet.

The girl ended up spoiling her new ball point pen by scribbling the above words on the faded wall of the girl’s toilet.

Every year hence, girls of DAV Public School read those words smeared across the pale wall while entering the wash room. The boys do the same, wondering who was the modern Shakespeare who could dare to bear the stench of the toilet for a good amount of time and compose an entire poem sitting there ;)

[P.P.S:

Something worthy to note. Why do people make scratches on wash room walls (mostly in schools), walls of old monuments, etc writing ‘I love you’ or the like? Don’t they have better places to write or can’t they just use that texting option in their mobile phones to do so and send the message to whosoever they desire to rather than dirtying these walls. ;) ]

AAA:Award,Answers and Aaekay....

Sorry, Aaykay. I'm very late in answering to your questions. If at all an excuse can help me with my apology, it's : I had my exams and almost lost contact with my blog for as long as two months. 

Thanks a lot for the award Aaekay :)

Here goes my answers. Loved the questions. (Found a few difficult to answer-especially the 5th and 8th ) :)

#1: Which post that you have written on your blog is your most favorite of all and why?

After a year of blogging, I have come to realize that with time, people evolve and so do I. With every blog post I write, I gain a better insight into things, about life itself. So, AaeKay, I really love this question of yours. A blog post entitled “Searching for an answer and... yes, GOT IT!!..:)” is still my favourite as it’s very close to my heart even though it’s a very simple one.

#2: Which post that I have written on my blog is your favorite and why?

I read a poem in your blog-“Suicide is never the solution”. Liked the way you expressed what you wanted to, wonderfully through a poem. The following lines were the best.

“When the sun rises and reaches its peak,
When the problem reveals its intricacies and therefore its flaws,
There, one will see a solution,
And the solution will NEVER be suicide.”

#3: How would you define love, hope, faith and life in a sentence?

To define these my way:  Life is a single delicate thread entwined around love, hope and faith; any imbalance in these three may cause the thread to break apart or sag down.

#4: What is that one thing that you cannot tolerate in a person?

Excessive pride. The ones who are always in the seventh heaven because of a minor success of theirs and look down at others surely deserve my contempt.

#5: What defines YOU in one word?

 Different ;)

#6: If we were to meet somewhere out of the blue, what would you say to me? How would you identify me, if you had to approach me and confirm that it is AaeKay indeed!?

If miraculously you and I meet in the near future and I somehow see you,my response would be……Hi, so do you still remember the 6^th question and my answer to it?? ;)

#7: Do you believe that people are allowed to break your heart in a relationship? (I know we trust them not to.)
 A flat no. Why a relationship, if one breaks the heart of the other? (though, sometimes unintentionally, one may hurt the other’s sentiments..but that definitely doesn’t entail SHATTERING ONE’S HEART INTO PIECES)

#8: What is one thing that you love about yourself? 

Talking of an attribute (if that’s what the question demands as an answer), I do only those things which I love to do ;)

#9: How productive are you? What do you follow in order to be productive? (This is because I'm trying hard to become productive; not working!)

Productive..umm..and not working…..well, that would be just lay back, read a book or travel.

#10: How did you come across my blog and what was your first thought about my blog and me?

You commented on a post in my blog. Then I went on to browse through ‘A Blog To Remember’ and found it really interesting. The blogger who maintains an interesting blog has to be equally interesting and a flourishing writer. Glad to have come across you and your blog,Aaekay. 

mY SpAcE : mY RuLeS :: mY KiNgdOM : my ThRoNe

The use of punctuation marks in the title isn’t correct. Sorry. Not that I used to get them all correct in the grammar section of my test papers ,but still this is quite awkward. I agree. But then, to talk of math, I haven’t excelled in it either. So, this explanation leaves me a total jerk- ‘an adha-adhura knowledge’ kinda person. Well, that suits me best! Anyway, I learnt the use of : and :: long back. So the only thing I remember now (that too, very vaguely) is that : is for ratio and :: is for proportion(Sorry again, if I got that wrong. It’s been years I have smelt the calculating repulsive scent of a mathematics textbook).

Try arguing with an auto rickshaw-wallah near his auto stand where all his buddies sit comfortably under the thin short-lasting stretch of synthetic covering around the rust-eaten rods of their three-wheelers. He might utter an inexplicable fare in the most inexplicably confident voice. Then suddenly you realize that you are a minority in the area where you are standing and feel yourself shrinking into an agitated electron among a lane-full of anti-charged protons. You relent. The fare no longer a matter of concern. Your skin is!

And that’s the absurdity of it all. Ask the same auto rickshaw-wallah to come to your colony. You and your whole lot of like-minded people can argue with him. The reason of argument?? Oh, leave the reason. Now that you are a majority, why do you need a reason?? (Darn, am I stepping into political swamps with the last statement?? I suppose, a big no! Politics is the last thing in the universe that would grab my interest!)

Dare to step on a lonely stage- the platform vast and a forlorn stranger. But then, you were the one who was laughing your uvula sore, back among the audience. And then the same light when focused on you, you hear your heart recklessly beating drums within your atria and ventricles. The absurdity of it again.

The teacher you mock at while he’s lecturing in the class. You scribble his outline on the last page of your notebook. The cartoon sketch turns out to be a divine bucket of laughter. The balding head, the sagging gravity-loving belly and the strands of hair protruding from where they should n’t. Gosh! You try to hold back that laughter-pressure inside you to such an extent that had your body been a pressure cooker, your intestine would have got satisfactorily boiled to be gulped down like a long Chinese noodle,by the time the lecturer leaves the class.

The contrast- The pot-bellied brat makes a joker out of you in the viva table. He laughs and sips coffee, finding faults in every word you utter. You wonder-how the funny cartoon character featuring on the last page of your notebook turns into a blood-sucking vampire overnight. Damn! But that’s what the ratio is all about. As you sit sweating your way out and wetting your dry throat by painfully swallowing the minimum amount of saliva sticking to the insides of your famine-struck buccal cavity; you realize : this time it’s his space: his rules. As you walk out of the examination hall and walk back to your gang, it’s your kingdom: your throne.

• (P.S. Though it’s often difficult to predict which king wins the broader battle at the end, we always are the triumphant crown-bearers in our own territory housing our gang of friends, family and well-wishers and once we step out that comfort zone, we suddenly feel like an outcast ) :)

So the next time I comment to my friends about a girl wearing an awkward dress, I’ll at least think once before commenting as to how many others might be laughing at my own dressing sense. But to wind it up all- WE ALL ARE SO GROSSLY DIFFERENT !! AT THE END, IT SIMPLY DOES N’T MATTER-until of course we get something to laugh at and there's someone else to laugh at us. NOBODY SURE IS 'UNLAUGHABLE' and we all are miniature freaks at one level or the other. )

• [P.P.S. If the title with its punctuation marks still does n’t make sense, then……well……I have admitted before, I never got them all correct!!]  ;-)

AwArD !! :)

Thanks a ton AaeKay for tagging me with the the Libster Award:):)                                    ..(and I felt my lips stretch into a smile on coming to know of the surprise you mentioned in the comment)

Here are my answers to some of her questions....

1. How would someone describe you to a stranger?

Well, that depends on who that ‘someone’ is. Only a close friend can describe the ‘real me.’

2. Is there anywhere in the world you want to go and anywhere you don't want to go? 

  There are lots of places in my wish list where I want to go. But if I have to shortlist a few places where I don’t want to go, those would be the places where there’s a lurking danger to life( Nope, I’m not hinting towards the unexplored interiors of the Amazon rainforests or the deepest parts of the Indian Ocean.. I’m talking about the places which would be more livable if monsters called ‘terrorists’ were never born)

3. What or who you inspires you the most?

   My mom

4. What was the last good deed that you did?

   Switched off the fan and lights of my room before heading to the hospital today. (In the morning rush of getting ready for my classes, I tend to forget the importance of conserving electricity and often leave them switched on) ;-)

5. What do you do to destress?

   Talk to myself (sounds absurd, though), write, listen to music ,read a good book or watch a movie.

6. What's the funniest thing that has happened to you?

‘Funny’and ‘embarrasing’- I still remember a day during my school days when I hopped into my school bus with my socks in my hands and shoes (laces untied) well in their appropriate place. I was very late and the bus (not to mention the whole lot of school mates sitting inside) was waiting for me honking the horn every 4 seconds. Angry, my mom rebuked me and I could do nothing but run straight to the bus, with socks in my hands where several dozen eyes directed their not-so-friendly gaze and ‘oh-my-God-Is-she-a-nutcase?’expressions at me. Back then, those were the five minutes of my life, I so badly wanted to forget. But when I think of that incident now, it seems to be a funny.

7. Where do you see yourself ten years down the line?

    A platform where I can be myself- the one I always want to be-an eminent doctor, a writer and a person who lives a worthwhile life,is cared for and cares for others and has many reasons to be happy.

8. What is one quote that you live by?

“Believe you can and you are halfway there.”

   

    
9. Which book has made the biggest impact in your life and how?

     Since a lot of books have influenced me, it wouldn’t be appropriate if I name a single book. The impact is not one big bolt of lightning but a constant dose of positive impulses over months and years.

10. What's the most rewarding thing about being a blogger?

      Starting a blog was a decision I made a year ago.

 Just the way singers sing their way to people’s hearts, express their feelings; just the way painters paint to let loose the creativity bound in them; I do the same by writing. It gives me a rare satisfaction and is a great stress buster, but above all, I love writing. Blogging brings one in touch with people who share the love for writing. It’s always been a great experience to read the posts of some wonderful people and ponder over what they have written.

Lastly, attempting to these questions was fun. Thanks for the SURPRISE.. loved it :):)

Twenty four carat GOLD and a piece of CAST IRON....

The pleasant evening had given way to the slight drizzle and the ambient temperature reduced to a comfortable level. The A.C. was switched off before she got on the bed to take her afternoon nap. Forty five minutes later, she woke up suddenly, feeling groggy. Her stomach didn’t hurt, nor did her occasional migraine bother her this time. She analyzed the reflection in the mirror- did she have blood-shot red eyes? Did she look ill? No..not really.

But something held her down. She felt heavy. A rare kind of heaviness. Downstairs, a queer discussion ensued. She could hear people’s voices mingle into a disinteresting, disheartening chatter.

Rewind 2 years. She was wearing the same night-suit ,sitting on the same bed. Her mother had asked her to change into a more decent dress. A few neighbours sat on the couch discussing something with her father. Her father, an euphoric smile splashed jubilantly on his aging face, cast a loving glance at her when she entered the room. She felt like she was the fastest horse in the race, the triumphant Czar in the battle, the sole survivor in the massacre-a twenty four carat gold pendant.

The difference. The heaviness. The strangeness. The fake sympathies flowing out downstairs. The groggy feeling- She knew exactly what it was. The sudden rise and fall. The applause once tasted, a long-forgotten thing at the present. The winning and losing. The changes in attitude of people around. The cliché seemingly coming true-‘Winning is the only thing’.

She was a state top ranker. She was a cynosure of several eyes at that time……..2 years later…..She couldn’t get into the college she dreamed of-a difference of 2 marks took a toll. Cut-offs turned out to be very high.

She was wearing a twenty carat gold pendant with a piece of cast Iron. She was still that precious metal her parents so lovingly brought into their world. She was that shiny gold pendant, embedded with a piece of brittle Iron.She was that perfect daughter, with a perfect degree of imperfection. She was herself and she loved every inch of her.

The grogginess disappeared in a few minutes. Downstairs the conversation among the neighbours continued. They took a rare kind of satisfaction in discussing failure and pouring out fake sympathies. She didn’t care. Her parents didn’t care. The twenty four carat gold pendant embellished with cast Iron was an antique possession and a focus of envy. No wonder, when kept among other jewels, it shone the brightest.


P.S- A year back, I started this blog. Writing blog posts and reading posts of some other wonderful bloggers has been a wonderful experience. Even though I am not that regular at writing posts for Mosaic (given the time constraints), I have discovered how ecstatic it feels to write what comes in my mind. Hoping to continue with writing (though a bit irregularly)..Lastly, thanks to all the people who have stopped by this blog and those who have left behind a comment ( would have never got the encouragement to continue with this blog,had it not been for you).. Do keep reading........ :):)